Yowsy-Yowsy, Brother, I Has Arrived!

FINALLY!!! I'm there! At last I've received the sort of email that others have got in the past...but never me. Until now. Today I feel recognised by the world at large, a player on the global stage, across the situation, stepping up to the plate, on the map - so to speak, as it were, per se, as such, to coin a phrase, but not to speak in cliches, far be it from me. I am now the recipient of a Nigerian scam email (though this one's supposedly from South Africa):
“DEPt.OF ENERGY and NATURAL RESOURCES228 VISAGIE STREET PRETORIA SOUTH AFRICA
Greetings. I am a member of the contract award committee and 14 project allocation manager, of the Department of Minerals and Natural Resources in South Africa.
I am in search of an agent to be assist us in the transfer of USD11.5M from overdue contract payment and subsequent investment in properties in your country.
You will be required to:
(1) Assist in the transfer of the said funds
(2) Advise on lucrative areas for investment
(3) Assist us in purchase of properties.
If you decide to render your service to us in this regard, 20% of the total sum of USD11.5M will be for given to you as a reward of your cooperation.
Thank you and God bless, as I waiting in anticipation of your full co-operation.
Yours Faithfully, Mr. Ken Maluga. ”
I laugh at these grammatically-incorrect tossers who think we're stupid enough to fall for this...AND YET PEOPLE STILL DO!!! Seriously, if you have any doubts, check the Consumer Affairs website and hey, let's be careful out there...for a laugh, check out Dumb Scams which illustrates the many variations of Nigerian Scams around!